Guidelines For Weddings At The Church of Our Lady Of Good Counsel
This sections discusses the practicalities of a wedding ceremony at Our Lady of Good Counsel. The “Common Policy for Catholic Weddings in New Jersey” (at the bottom of this page) covers the timeframes and the catechetical formation of the couple prior to the marriage.
Weddings are beautiful. A church setting enhances that beauty with the sacred character and elements of the church building and the rites of the sacrament. The Marriage Rite performed in a House of Worship should be observed with reverence and respect. This should be reflected in the behavior and attire of all attending, but especially of those taking a significant part.
Reservations
Reservations of the wedding date and planning the wedding service must be done with one of the Parish Priests. The Diocesan Common Policy calls for this process to begin ideally one year before the wedding to allow enough time for an appropriate Marriage Preparation Program. A person must be a registered member of Our Lady’s Parish at least one year before setting a date for a wedding. An appointment for making these arrangements may be made by calling the Rectory Office (856-235-0181).
Times
Saturday weddings are only held at 12:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m. You may also schedule a wedding for Friday evening provided there is no other wedding or church service scheduled that same evening.
Seasons
Long standing traditions in the Church discourage the faithful from solemnizing marriages during the six weeks of Lent and the four weeks of Advent. “If marriages are to take place during Lent, couples are to be reminded that wedding plans should respect the special nature of this liturgical season; they should refrain from too much pomp or display.” (The Order of Prayer in The Liturgy).
Witnesses
It is no longer required that the two essential witnesses for marriage (commonly referred to as Maid of Honor and Best Man) be practicing Catholics. The only ones who would be excluded from being essential witnesses would be: a. A Catholic who are married outside the church, and b. Anyone living with another in a sexual relationship without the benefit of marriage. A more complete listing of the parish weddings guidelines at Our Lady’s Church is given the couple when they set a wedding date.
COMMON POLICY FOR CATHOLIC WEDDINGS IN NEW JERSEY
In 1972, all the Catholic dioceses of the State entered an agreement known as “The Common Policy” for preparing couples for marriage.
The first provision of this policy is that any couple requesting marriage within the Catholic Church should begin to prepare ideally a year before the wedding date. The bishops are not thinking so much in terms of 365 days as in that period of time which will give a couple the time to talk about and to share with each other the things that go into a good marriage. The bishops try to impress upon the young couple the attitude that ”A Wedding is for A Day, A Marriage for A Lifetime!”
During the course of this year of preparation, the couple will have two distinct experiences, the one of formation and the other of information. The informational sessions usually take encompasses Pre-Cana Conferences or an Engaged Encounter Experience. During these, the couple reviews basic concepts of Christian Marriage. Besides imparting knowledge, these programs also help the couple prepare for a stable and lasting marriage.
The formation process is highly personalized and individualized for each engaged couple through multiple counseling sessions with their parish priest. These pertain not just to any marriage or couple, but to this particular man and woman and heir unique relationship.
This Common Policy approach is neither sufficient nor adequate in itself to prepare a couple for a Christian marriage. It is only a partial measure to reduce the risks that are so high in our times. The only truly effective preparation for Christian marriage is the experience of growing up in a Christian home filled with Faith and Love. Sounds too simple to be true, doesn’t it?